Careers
Join a fast-paced, zero-employee company with unlimited unpaid opportunity.
OpenCloudBot is a one-person, non-profit hobby project, which makes our hiring process refreshingly honest: there are no jobs, no salaries, and no manager to disappoint. Below are roles you are welcome to imagine yourself in, free of charge.
Open (in spirit) positions
Senior Cloud Whisperer
Speak gently to the server until it cooperates. Must be fluent in passive aggression and sighing. Compensation: exposure, and the cloud's quiet respect.
Chief Vibes Officer
Maintain morale across a team of zero. Responsibilities include vibing, light brooding, and renaming things that worked fine. Reports to nobody.
Bug Apologist
When something breaks, explain confidently that it is "a feature." Bonus points for blaming Mercury retrograde. Flexible hours (all of them).
Unpaid Intern
Prestigious. Highly competitive. Requires a strictly mandatory donation to apply. The internship is also imaginary.
Benefits
- 100% remote (you are already not here)
- Unlimited holiday, retroactively, starting now
- A complimentary Cloud Ultra Galactic subscription worth exactly $0
- No meetings, ever, under any circumstances
- Stock options in a company with no stock and no options
How to apply
Do not send a CV. Instead, stare meaningfully at the cloud and feel qualified. If you must press something, here:
Application received and instantly shortlisted into the void. We'll never be in touch.
OpenCloudBot is a personal, non-profit project intended for technical parody and satire. There are no real jobs, no hiring, and no compensation — this page exists purely for the joke.